The War
by J. Caputo
Summary: This is my hirac delest.


Prologue

My name is Joe. I wish I could tell you my real name. There is so much to a name that one can garnish simply by hearing it. I would feel much better about all of this if I could reveal to you what I've been called since the day I was born. I can't, though. It's too dangerous. Even if I only reveal my name to you, they'll find me. There's no helping it and there's no avoiding it.

I wish I could tell you many other things about me. It's said that human beings take great comfort in divulging their deepest secrets to each other. Trust me, it would be a tremendous weight off my back. But, as in the case of my name, it's simply too dangerous. I can't allow a stupid mistake like that to give me up so easily. Because if they find me, not only will I regret it, but so will the rest of the world. You see, I have something they want, something important, and if they ever got a hold of it, you can kiss the Earth and everything on it goodbye. Sorry, but that's the way it is. There's no changing it.

There's no telling how far they've infiltrated up until now. I've heard rumors, but every time I try to investigate them, I turn up nothing. The rumors stay simply so. One thing is for sure. It's gotten to be that I can't trust my very own parents, and that's not something so easily done. It seems everything around has become clouded, and when I look into the faces of the people I know, where I once saw a light behind their eyes, I see now only a vacancy.

There is a truth in all of this. There is no turning back. Of that I am sure. To turn back now would be to abandon all hope of ever saving those I have already lost to this unseen struggle. That's something I can't do.

I'm sorry. You're probably very confused. It's natural. I was extremely confused. It's confusing to suddenly have your world turned upside down and everything you know and love to suddenly seem as though none of it is real, or ever really was. Needless to say, I can't remember a time when I wasn't knee-deep in this war.

I miss things. I miss my friends and my family. I miss the movies. I miss being in public without having to watch what my mind focuses on, or without constantly having to look over my shoulder. I miss sleeping in on a Saturday morning. I guess what I really miss is normalcy. I miss my life. But I can't have those things back unless I win. The only way back is to beat them at their own deceptive game. But that's easier said than done.

It all started out so slowly. There were subtle changes at first, but soon enough everything seemed different. I began to notice changes in people, and then something happened to me, something that I'll never forget for the rest of my life.

I fought for a long time, mainly because no one else would, but more so because fighting had fallen within my power. I was fighting so hard, and I was losing all the while. I thought this planet was finished. Nothing seemed to give in this war. I fought through stalemate after stalemate, with no end in sight for either side. After all, I'm only one man. How can I expect to win? But there was a small hope. I learned of a group of kids from California that fought as well, and I took their example and kept going. It's easier that way. When we see other taking up the slack, the job no longer seems as daunting. We can continue fighting.

Like those kids I wanted to record my thoughts on this war and tell you all what you can do to keep fighting, keep resisting. Because resistance is what they hate the most. It's the thing that holds them back and prevents them from taking control. Well, this is my resistance. The thoughts recorded here in this tome are my first and final thoughts. After this, I will disappear from the world around me. Where will I go? Well, that remains to be decided, I guess. I'll give you this warning and this guide. And after I tell you my story, I will go away forever. So considering that, I guess this document is sort of my _hirac delest_. My final statement, as a friend of mine once said. I hope you all take something from it. After all, it's what those like me risk their lives to uphold.


End file.
